A (almost) Year In The Life Of An Internet Meme

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As I write this, it will be about 2 weeks before our (Cassie,  my daughter and I) one year anniversary of “breaking the Internet” with our photos.
It all started out innocently enough.
I was on Facebook when I noticed a “racy” photo my daughter had posted. As with Facebook, under the photo, sometimes you can see comments made and this photo was no different.
Except for one thing.
The crude comments left underneath.
Being a passive/aggressive dad and understanding that arguing and getting upset with someone on the Internet would be futile, so I did the only thing I could think of.
Make fun of myself.
I decided to let the “boys” know, not only was I watching, but also, to show my daughter what it looks like when someone posts a “racy” photo who’s not really pretty. It was teasing her, but that’s the relationship we had.
Cassie was living 40 minutes away and this was how we checked in on each other. With jokes, so essentially, I was killing two birds with one stone.
We had some laughs, some of the boys laughed, others deleted their comments and left.
As the days went on, I posted a couple more photos, nothing really harsh, just to get a laugh and “checking in on her”, basically letting her know I was still thinking of her, even miles away.
Then, one day while watching tv, my wife came home and threw me a white tank top, laughing and saying, “Cassie posted a photo you HAVE to copy.”
So I found the photo and went into the bathroom to draw on some fake tattoos. It took me almost 20 minutes to copy her, as we were both laughing at how stupidly I looked in this too tight of a tank top and leaves on my head.
I posted it and we all had a good laugh. I really didn’t think anything more about it.
Then about a week later, I came home from work and my wife had the strangest look on her face. She said, “Have you seen your photo?”
I said, “No.” and then she showed me how multiple sites had started posting our Instagram photos everywhere. Mashable was the first. Then more. And more. Hundreds were posting them. My gmail exploded from people asking to use them, copyright issues, contracts, etc.
We spent the entire night answering emails and granting approvals. I was suddenly talking to people all over the World!
But there was a dark side to the fame.
You see, as much as I was being adored, my daughter was getting hate mail.
“Slut”, “shameful”, “Sinner”, even called a Satanist because of a Supernatural tattoo. Yes, from a tv show. People were emailing someone they didn’t know, telling her what they thought about her and calling her names. People were taking time out of their day, to bash a teenager who’s dad made her famous. I later learned she spent hours crying because of the mean things people were writing about her.
Now don’t get me wrong. There were smarter people out there who understood the joke. Parents who had kids, other teenagers, even celebrities like Ashton Kutcher and George Takei were “getting the joke” and posting about it.
My anxiety hit an all time high. I was not only worried about strangers coming to the door, but the safety of my daughter, not to mention how the guys at my work would take it.
I work with a lot of truck driving, blue collar, rough, drinking guys and while my private life friends knew I dressed in costumes for charity events, etc. I never worried about what they would say, my “work” life had no idea.
Monday came and so did the tv interviews. Luckily, Cassie was able to tell her side and show how it was just a way we teased each other. More and more people started to laugh with her. Yes, there was still the occasional “You should have taken her phone!” and “I wouldn’t let MY daughter dress like that!” comments from people who again, didn’t even know us.
Couldn’t tell me her birthday. Didn’t know the name of her first pet or even tell me what caused her incredible pain when she was little. So much pain in fact, she couldn’t move. We had to take her to the hospital, leaving one of the first times I broke down in front of her.
Let it be known, the Internet is full of armchair psychologists.
More days passed and the interviews kept coming. We had a blast skyping to people from all over the World. China had about 4 interviews. We did remote interviews with our local tv station that allowed us to talk to Australia and the UK.
Cassie was finally getting some real positive feedback and I was actually nominated as “Hero of the Week” by listeners of Premiere London.
My youngest daughter had a ball seeing my emails from Australia (“Champion”) and the UK (“Cheers”) and more email etiquette I was trying to learn on the fly.
I was also getting heartbreaking emails from kids.
“You remind me of my father”
“You make me wish my dad was still alive”
“I never knew my dad, but I like to think he might be like you”
You can’t just take those lightly.
Then came the tv appearance we wished would come. A new show was starting and wanted us on. (No, I won’t mention it here, just out of kindness.) They wanted us to “go dark”. Don’t post anything else, let them know what we were doing all the time and tell them more about our past. In other words, they wanted a broken family to fix.
I finally told them, that wasn’t us.
It could have changed our lives forever, what with the huge tv coverage. We were seen all over in other countries, but for some reason, here in America, tv appearances were not happening. They preferred to get the videos we already did with other Internet sites.
I just didn’t want them going through our past. I’ll admit, it wasn’t a perfect past. Who’s is? We’d had some problems, but we overcame them. Why dig them up again?
Fame or dignity. It’s a decision I’ll have to wonder about for the rest of my life.
Slowly the interviews died down. The emails went from 20-30 a day to about five. I would (sadly), wake up and immediately check my phone for messages. It was like a drug wearing off. Cassie was worse because no one was contacting her, just me, since I was the parent. Those days when nothing came, I’ll admit, I felt like crap.
Then the wave hit again. I had accumulated twice as many followers as Cassie and that was the new angle. I’d gone from 69 followers months ago, to over 120k. More interviews, (Australia, China, London, Germany) and every now and then, followers would email me photos of magazines from their country with our faces on them.
Cassie and I were flown down to film a small segment about Internet fame for the TD Jakes Show, and while we had a great time doing it and everyone was SO nice, the segment never aired.
Needless to say, we were a little heartbroken.
I was constantly asked how much we were making for all this coverage because “Chewbacca Mom” just got a book deal. “Chewbacca Mom” just got to ride in a car with JJ Abrams. “Charlie bit my finger” kid got a scholarship.
We were now being compared to other Internet Memes and trust me, we weren’t adding up. I’ll be honest.
All in all, we received about as much money as a small down payment on a mediocre hot tub or barely running car.
We helped Cassie with a bill and bought a bargain price tv from Walmart for Christmas.
It’s been a few months since then and things have really calmed. I still get the occasional email from someone saying “Hi” and our story still gets posted on Facebook about 20 times a month, but nothing like it used to.
As I look back on what happened and what could have been, I’ll be honest again. I wished it were more.
We tried to get on Ellen, as that would be the final straw in our dream, but nothing happened. I had AMAZING friends who tried to help us by tweeting and posting our story. I was really touched on how many people tried for us.
It was about this time I learned the “cas’me ouside, how ’bout dat” girl was to make about $20,000 by lip syncing a concert with a Q&A afterward.
That….uh…..that one really hurt.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a blast. Cassie and I experienced something few ever will. We talked to people from all over the World. Not bad for a guy who’s only been to Canada twice and Tijuana once (just to say I did).
It gave me an opportunity to start up a podcast, something I love doing, and also, meet some really great, new friends. Comedians and more. People I might never have worked up the courage to talk to.
I also had an adventure with my daughter. One we can talk about forever. The whole experience in fact, was one in a million for a parent and child.
My one regret is, well……me.
I wish I was better at keeping the fame.
Should I have said yes more? Should I have gotten an agent? Should I have NOT done something? So many questions I’ll have to live with, without ever knowing the answer.
As a parent, you want more for your children. You want them to not have to worry about things. You want them to have the best life.
And here I was, famous around the World. A guy who made the whole World laugh, in any language. A guy who was told that he “broke the Internet”
Yet here I am, seeing my sons car totaled by a reckless driver with no insurance and no way to help him replace it.
The guy dubbed “Selfiedad” who’s had a crack in his car window for months.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still happy. I’ve had amazing opportunities to talk to great people and see my face in different countries magazines. Not many can say that, but as the song goes, “regrets….I have a few…”
What strikes me as one of the funniest things about the whole event is, that my mom and dad still don’t understand how big it was. They still treat it like it was an article in the local shopper magazine.
So while our anniversary comes near, I’ll start seeing “Facebook Memories” that were at the time, great, now though, I’m hoping they won’t be a painful “What if”.
Of course, if nothing ever happened, I’d never know about the woman with the autistic daughter, who shares our photos and has a precious laugh with her daughter.
Or the man who lost his daughter to a car accident, who laughed for the first time in months because of us.
Those are things happening all over the World, right now. People finding what we did, in a positive light and making them feel good.
How do you tell yourself you wished it never happened?
Someday, Cassie will have kids of her own and she’ll be able to show them.
“Yes, this is your grandpa….”
I want to thank everyone who was so kind.
Kind to me and especially kind to my daughter.
Friends who stood by me.
Friends (and family) who took my “celebrity” in stride.
Followers, who I call friends, that have stayed with me and those who have wished me well in emails, etc.
I’ve changed in so many ways because of this. I’m more aware of women’s rights. Gay rights. Humanity in itself. Things I would make fun of before, I now want to champion and help. That’s all because of the people I’ve talked with.
I wish everyone could have just one day of talking to people from around the World.
I really believe there would be more peace.
More understanding.
Less being afraid, leading to hate.
I’ve learned a good lot of us just want to laugh, be with family and watch sunsets.
I wish the next Internet Meme good luck and if I had any advice, I’d say, stay smart. Think about whats going on, but also, just enjoy it.
Enjoy the moment.
And of course, take pictures.

Getting Chastised For Caring

0523-machester-flag-mark-e-tisdale-14Earlier this week, a coward chose a concert filled with teenagers to enact his political/religious views by planting a bomb and killing 19 people.
Children.
Children who simply went to a place to have fun.
It shouldn’t matter where it happened. It shouldn’t matter the country, the city or even street. It was a heinous act that took the lives of children.
There have been many evil acts like this throughout the centuries, but this particular act hit me harder than most, mainly because the children targeted were about the same age as my children.
I can feel bad for adults who have been killed, but I can’t be in their shoes as much as I can being a parent and seeing a loss.
So as a small act ( and I mean, literally, the least thing I could do) I posted a photo of the Manchester flag and simply stated “No parent should ever have to bury their child”.
Well, no good deed goes unpunished apparently because no sooner than I posted it, I was told how bad that was to do.
“Awful.You are only sensitive to European explosions.How sensitive are you to the explosions in the Middle East?More than 300 people died in an explosion in Turkey.You are not sensitive to this, but you are sensitive to European explosions. Whatever happens #manchester :((“
Now, I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t like it when people post signs of solidarity, mainly for the attention from facebook or as a status thing, and I’ll also admit, at times, I’ve done the same thing.
“Hey, everyone. I feel bad also. Look at me feel bad”
I’ve been witness to people saying they’d do anything to help a charity, but when I bend over backwards to get them to come down to our event, suddenly everything under the sun stops them.
Or they “simply forgot”.
That’s fine. We each walk our own path and have to live with our decisions, but I have never attacked someone for caring.
I’ve rolled my eyes at certain people who I know will say something to show everyone on their social media page that they care, but that’s pretty much where it ends. I’m not them and I don’t know what they’re going through.
But to tell someone they are awful for caring? At a moment when I felt emotional hit by something I could relate to?
In a world where people can anonymously bully, critique, say awful things and basically just be a dick to people anywhere at anytime, telling someone they aren’t caring enough about everything is almost as bad as the act itself.
What you’re doing is telling that person that you think they are not only caring wrong, but simply showing ignorance of the world around them and if it happens again, they’ll just look foolish.
Here’s the deal. There’s a small arrow that faces down on your laptop. Maybe the next time you see someone posting something you don’t agree with, just push that little button and go right on by. If your first instinct is “I’ll teach them!”, ask yourself, is it worth it?
Is arguing on the internet how you really want to spend the precious minutes you have on this Earth? Is posting hateful or mean statements to someone you’ve never met really how you want to be known? What if they were your last words? What if a comet hit your desk and you died and those mean, spiteful words, were the last ones you posted? What if that other person was going through something and you didn’t know? What if their anger on the internet was just an outlet because a loved one died or a relationship ended? Are you helping or hurting? Are you a fast lane to human progress or a speed bump?
I’m not a wordsmith by any means, but I hope if anything, people get out of this rambling is, I think we’re done. I think we’ve reached maximum hate on the internet. We did it! GOOD JOB! Now that that goal was reached, how about we back off a little and start on the other side. Let’s start trying to understand each other a little more or at the very least, instead of telling people how wrong they are, work on yourself and let them walk their own path. You’re not a teacher. You’re not a guru. You’re just another human being. telling someone who posted something wrong, by telling them they’re wrong.
Below was my response. It’s probably not perfect, but I wrote it, so I should stand by it.
Well I guess I should address this since you seem to be pretty mad at a person you’ve never met, so simply put, I posted a photo of a country’s flag that just had a bomb go off and kill some kids. I’m sensitive to ALL killings of innocent people. Every single one. No innocent person deserves to die for someone else’s political stance. But since you know me so well, you’ll know I’m also a parent, and AS a parent, this bombing hit me harder than others, because it involved kids that are my own kids age. I can sympathize with the grieving parents. That doesn’t mean this is the only killing I care about just because I posted a photo during a time where I was emotionally hit by something going on. Should I post a photo of a countries flag after Every innocent person somewhere in the world is killed? That would be a pretty sad Instagram considering it happens every day, all over the world. And am I to blame about not knowing about Turkey? I work 40 hours a week at one job and more on another one. I have 3 kids and bills to pay. I can’t watch the news 24 hours a day in the “hopes” I catch all the killings from around the world, to make sure I memorialize every single one. I understand your anger, but honestly, to attack someone you’ve never met who simply posted something at a time where they were in distress about kids being killed, seems awfully mean. I hope one day no one EVER has to post ” thoughts and prayers” or post that they’re sorry because innocent people were killed, but sadly, I don’t see that day coming any sooner. If I were you, instead of attacking people who feel bad about something, generously explain about another situation and maybe ways to help. Spread good in the world. Hate is to quick. It’s too easy to criticize. We need more people who can help, not hinder the world into a new era of kindness. I hope you understand everything I blathered on about. I’m used to making people laugh, not understand, so forgive me. And if you knew people in Turkey that were hurt or killed, I’m sorry for them as well. I hope one day we meet so we fully understand where each person is coming from. That’s the only way this world will know peace.

The State of the (Comic) Union

This year I went to Emerald City Comicon, not as a fan or cosplayer, but as a writer for bleedingcool.com. Going in this way, made me see things in a much different, and unfortunate, light.

Usually when I go, I’m trying to support my artist friends, cosplayers or just witness what new books are out, but, a lot has changed in a year. I was down to reading about 10 titles a month, then lower, then down to one. When that title ended, I was done. Not done with reading comics, thanks to DC reviving Wild Dog for Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye, but I have really decreased my time in reading monthly books, because of work, other projects and money, I just couldn’t fit them into a slice of my life, which I will admit, feels very, very odd. Now, most of the comics I read are in graphic novel form or collected, as it wasn’t worth it to me to pick up a $3.99 book I could read in 4 minutes.

That said, as I wandered around ECCC, I noticed something different.

The slow demise of single issue, monthly comics.

Many tables had books by artists who had collected their stories. Those booths that didn’t had boxes and boxes of single comics. I mean….BOXES. All at 50%-80% off. With the exception of course to the guy who’s still (not) selling his 30 copies of Star Wars #1 at $80.00 a piece. I know this, because I saw him pack all of them back away. “It’s only worth what people are willing to pay.” I whispered to myself as I walked by.

The demographic I saw for those digging and fingering their way through the dusty boxes were mainly males, from about 25 years and up. More women then last year, but they weren’t looking at DC or Marvel. They were picking through the Anime and Indy stuff.

Sadly, most single issues stayed in the boxes. Taped up in their slowly disintegrating bags, only to wait until the next Con to be sold at a much lower price.

Why is this happening? In my opinion, it’s because comics are not only expensive, but they just aren’t needed anymore.

Now before you slam your crayon to paper and write me a hugely worded, badly spelled hate letter, let me explain as I understand, you have skin in this game. It’s why your reading it. You care about comics still, and that’s great!

But you aren’t the majority of the public and you aren’t buying them all to help.

While comic movies make BILLIONS of dollars, not a single movie studio has really set aside some money or time to develop a comic book commercial in front of the movie that brought people to the seats in the first place. Think about it. There would be no Avengers movie without the Avengers comic, but when is the last time you saw a tv commercial about making people go read the Avengers monthly?

That’s why people don’t have to buy them either. Because most “fans” don’t need to know the history of Doctor Strange or Deadpool. They simply need to sit in front of a movie screen and have it fed to them in 2 hours. Also, nowadays, most people just don’t care.

Gone are the days of comic book store arguments about how many colors of Kryptonite there are, or how many Robins have been killed. When is the last time you were in a verbal argument, not over the internet because a monkey with a typewriter could fight over the internet, no I mean, verbally arguing over Wolverines correct origin story?

Congrats if you have, but I’m going to guarantee you were the only one in a million mile radius to do so.

Being “outside the box” at ECCC, I saw that the “norms” or the ones who were there to see the costumes, games, celebrities and panels about costumes, games and celebrities, don’t care that much.

When I was growing up, that’s all that mattered. Your knowledge of comics. All the knowledge you accrued through hours and hours of reading.

Now that knowledge is a Google search away and takes seconds.

As a guy who worked at a comic shop for about 20 years and an AM radio station for 8, let me tell you, I can see when things are being phased out, and single issue comics are going the way of the record store.

Speaking of which, while in Seattle, I visited a dimly lit record store in Pike Street Market. There were 4 people in there. One owner, one customer talking to the owner like they were friends and two girls, who didn’t even own a record player. They just wanted to see what records looked like.

That’s where I see single issues at.

Don’t believe me?

Go buy a brand new comic off the rack. Put it in a cardboard backer and bag. Now, wait one week and try to get all of your money back on eBay or Amazon.

Unless its the only copy in the World or signed by Stan Lee who happened to be at the store when you bought it, you’ll be lucky to get half your money back.

Gone are the days of “This’ll put my kid through college” books. Also, at $3.99 a book, gone are the days kids buying comics because they would rather buy a $3.00 App that will take up 4x the amount of time to finish it. Who can blame them? They can play most of these with their friends. There’s SO much entertainment out there and as a kid, its important to play what your friends are playing so you can talk about it. That’s what comics were, but with a thousand other things to do, read and play, its hard to get into reading a short story when your friends aren’t.

I take no joy in saying this, but I think it’s time to let go. It’s time to admit defeat. Single issues are bought as Xmas stocking fillers. As something a father buys his kid when they’re in the hospital, only because he doesn’t know what else to buy. Or as “I remember this” memory purchases, only to be put down 2 minutes after you bought it because things have changed so drastically, you have no idea whats going on.

Also, don’t get me started on hard to find titles, comic shops not ordering them or so many crossovers, you’d have to spend half your paycheck to keep up.

I’m not saying all single issues are bad. There’s some really great stories and art out there right now. I personally witnessed some outstanding and fun stories, some of the best since Dark Knight re-started the comic world, but let’s say I buy a #1 from someone at a Con. Then I go to the local comic store and ask, “Can you order this?” If the answer is yes, I might stay with it, but I’ve seen too many times, the comic was only fun in the purchasing, doesn’t live up to its promise and is left behind for the comic store owner to be stuck with…OR….the comic store owner won’t take the chance and order it.

The hard truth is, no one cares about monthly story lines anymore, and the ones that do, are a dying breed. For every new person to pick up a comic, two more leave for collected novels or not return at all, whether its because of money, lifestyle or just bored of them.

Unfortunately, comics did it to themselves. DC had balls to change all their books to the new DC52. They saw something drastic needed to be done and pulled the trigger, hoping to get new readers for new #1’s, but it turned off so many people, not even some of the most hardened DC fans came back for “Rebirth”. DC shouldn’t take all the blame though. I was working in a comic shop at the time and saw the downfall before then. Stories, crossovers and price were making people leave by the dozens and by the time the comic world decided something should be done, it was too late.

Marvel movies are spectacular and not miss events, but the last time a Marvel comic got any press, it was because Captain America may have been a Hydra agent all along and people who hadn’t picked up the book in decades, suddenly took to the internet to defend a character they hadn’t read since Bucky was still his sidekick. The buzz lasted about as long as issue #2. Now a comic only gets buzz for outing gay characters or making men into women (Thor), girls into men (Iron Man) or white into black (Ms. Marvel) and while that’s all well and good, would the changes have been made if the books weren’t failing and the Alt Right crowd weren’t so easily manipulated into false anger against “those liberal PC books”?

Did you know one Marvel movie can make about as much in a month what the entire comic industry can sell in about a year?

So where’s the advertising budget to get more readers into single issues?

Again, I’m not proud of these statements, but I think we need to face the facts. Single issue, monthly comics are the new Album-8 track-cassette-CD-DVD-computer tower of the new World and I mourn for them. We had some good times. Every month I remember rushing in to see if Booster and Beetle were going to get in trouble with Maxwell Lord again or if Batman could figure out Riddlers new crime spree. I’ll miss those days. Much like I still get melancholy over seeing an old Blockbuster building empty and remembering how fun it was to go pick out a movie. I can look at some of my comics and remember the place I bought them and sometimes, what the day was like outside.

But time moves on and we have to adapt. We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! But for now, we mourn the passing of our old dear friends.

Single, monthly comic issues….R.I.P. 1933 – 2017

It was a good run.

The ARRIVAL Movie Screwed Me Up

I just finished watching the fantastic movie, The Arrival, as opposed to the “what?” Charlie Sheen movie, The Arrival. (#winning.)

Now I’m messed up.

SPOILERS AHEAD. I MEAN MUCHO SPOILERS!

So if you’re reading past my warning, I take it you’ve seen the movie and if you haven’t, well, ok, if that’s your thing, you’re weird.

The Director plays with past, present and future like a gambler with trick dice. In other words, it looks like everything is on the up and up but he knows exactly what’s coming and you don’t.We’re just a big, dumb guest from out of town who just walked in and laid all of our money down on one throw.

If you’re one of those people who feels superior to others by saying “I saw it coming all along.”, not only are you lying, but I’m afraid the only gold star you are getting is going to be rolled up really tight and shoved in your UFHole.

The movie shows the future as flashbacks, where Amy Adams has a child who eventually dies of cancer.

Later in the movie, we learn that the aliens (by the way, aliens land) and as she works to understand their language, we find out time has no meaning to them and its brushing off on Amy. She sees visions which we believe are flashbacks, but instead, she can see the future, she’s just not aware of that until later.

Now, go ahead and enjoy all the rest of the movie. The cool aliens from The Mist, Forest Whitaker and Hawkeye from Avengers are all great.

I’m here to talk about two things.

  1. The movie will make you sad because here are aliens trying to give us a gift, the gift of time, and all we can do is think about weapons and war. While I realize these characters are there to make you feel upset, they aren’t far off from real people in power. It’s 2017 and by this point in our life, we should be smarter. We should be living the Star Trek future, but it seems Running Man is going to be the theme of our humanity.With the marches and riots going on right now, its hard to think we’ll move past this.
  2.  The choice. Amy Adams knows full well if she has a child, it will grow up and develop cancer, which kills her around 14, maybe 15 years old.

We see her loving and having fun with her daughter. She truly loves her and feels she made the right choice because she knows about the good times they will have.

There is also a scene where we find out Amy gets divorced because her husband leaves, not being able to take the news that their child will die soon. The child says, “Daddy doesn’t look at me the same anymore.”

Ouch.

My wife didn’t see the movie and I couldn’t really post spoilers all over Facebook, so here I sit, stewing in questions of “What would I do?”

You absolutely know that your child will die of cancer. Heart wrenching, painful cancer that slowly eats their body and soul.

Do you still have a child?

Isn’t that selfish of you? When you have a child and think about the good times, great, but did you have a child JUST for those times?

Or does the child appreciate it? Does the child live a full life? Do they truly enjoy life because the parent gives them everything possible?

I fall into the category of “No.”

There’s no way I could make a child go through all that pain just so I could have some good times.

Buy a puppy.

Don’t do that to a child.

Am I wrong? I’m not talking about aborting a child because you found out something was wrong. I’m talking about not even trying because you know the outcome.

Am I wrong? I’d love to hear from other people on this.

And also, what about the husband? He just left? I know its a burden, but you left?

So thanks, Arrival. I’ll have to take Nyquil to get some sleep tonight.

I’m back in Podcast Form !

After a long hiatus, I’m now back on the air and with the Pants Pending podcast Studios.

Amanda King co-hosts this episode where we discuss kids walking in at inappropriate times, terrible kid concerts, a return of Nearly News and more things you should expect if you ever go viral for the World to see. As always, this podcast is PG-13, so its safe for your older kids and pets.

DOWNLOAD:

https://pantspending.com/burr/episode-001-amanda-king

 

 

https://pantspending.com/burr

Has It Really Come To This?

This is Barren Trump. The child of Donald Trump. This child has recently come under attack by people who have never met him and, from what I can tell, sold their soul for a keyboard and Internet connection.

You can make fun of Trump. You can make fun of Obama. These are adults and like all adults, should be able to take it, but once you start insulting and hating a 10 year old child, you are, in no uncertain terms, a person with no values, common sense or social skills.
You are, in my world, an Un-person. A person who exists, but in a world I don’t care or what any part of.
You’re not being funny. You’re not being edgy. You’re not being the cool person going against the grain.
I’ve seen the horrific things people say about my daughter, who have never even met her. They insult her with brutal statements, only to quickly delete any posts, like a coward, when confronted by me or someone who has to remind them that she is an actual person with feelings.
My daughter is one of the strongest people I know, because she takes a lot of crap from strangers because of me. It’s MY fault we went viral, yet she takes the brunt of the crude, savage attacks by people calling her “slut” or “attention hog”.
She takes those attacks and I’ve seen the effects on her.
Most every single person I’ve messaged and explained to them about who we are, back down, delete posts or say “sorry”, which is the only reason I still do the stupid things I do.
A good 98% of the people who see our posts, get it.
They see the fun we have. They understand and have the common sense and wisdom to see that we’re just a family having fun.
If at any point it became dangerous for her, I’d shut it all down in a heartbeat. Know that.
Having followers isn’t as important as the safety of your family.
This is what I’ve fought since June. This type of insulting by keyboard trolls. The feeling of anonymity when you’re behind a computer. How you can look at someone on a screen and not realize they are an actual person.
I’ve never said anything on the internet I wouldn’t say to someones face, yet a lot of people feel they are “allowed”. That they have a right to be mean. And they do. It’s their right to type what they want.
 
But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
 
This is no different than the people who feel its ok to insult my daughter. The people insulting this child just for being in a certain family, I’m sure have never met him and would never speak to him like that to his face.
And if they actually did, well, my first statement stands.
You’re a person with no values, common sense or social skills. If that’s the way you want to live though, have at. Just don’t expect the rest of us to accept you as a normal human being.
If you dislike Trump, fine. Insult away. He’s an adult.
When you insult a child though, for just being a child?
 
It’s time to take a look at yourself and say, “Yeah, I COULD type that, but SHOULD I? Maybe I should just scroll on past and insult that chubby dad who dresses like his daughter. He’s an adult and can probably take it.”
 
#fightthegoodfight #selfiedad

 

 

Why Would You Post That?

Some of you may have seen a post I recently did from my instgram account with a “parent rant”, but then i deleted it soon after.
Now some have asked why.
Early this morning i was checking some comments on some photos/ videos i have posted. On one video that is my daughter singing, a rude comment was left.
I emailed this person, but not before i took a screenshot of their profile and their comment, then posted it under “parent rant” where i explained how there are REAL people behind each and every profile and photo.
Being mean or rude as you anonymously hide behind a computer isn’t right and it isn’t, shouldn’t, be normal.
I emailed this person about what they had done and the impact it could have.
He immediately emailed me back, explaining he was sorry and was having a rough week. Afterwards, we had a nice talk.
As soon as he understood there was a real person behind those photos, his attitude changed.
I deleted the screenshot because I thought it was unfair to this person to face any Internet mob, since they apologized and understood.
I won’t sit here and preach that I’ve never done it, but all this selfie thing has shown me, (especially reading the comment section in a Chewbacca Mom post. Geez, people. She laughed. Why so serious? ) that we need to understand, saying a personal video or photo someone posted of themselves, “sucks”, or “I’m just giving negative feedback so you know” or “this person can’t sing” or “your art needs a lot of work”, JUST KNOW, that “this person” may have posted it.
That “this person ” you’re talking about like they arent in the room, may be reading those comments.
That by posting something negative on THEIR creation, IT WILL BE READ.
It will be also be felt.
I also noticed earlier this week, a female friend posted a video and underneath, men were posting statements like “show me more”. ” show me your legs”.
Why is this ok? Why aren’t more people telling these cavemen that this is 2017 now?
We’re almost getting our own flying cars and people are going to land on Mars soon.
This strange way some people have of seperating real people and considering them almost like a character from a tv show, while also thinking there’s no problem posting obscene statements, needs to stop.
It’s not just people who may have some type of mental problems. It can be any person at any time.
Robots aren’t posting things out of the blue. REAL people are.
Real people with personal feelings and emotions.
(And those people are a HECK of a lot braver than others. I mean, who’s braver? Someone who creates something personal and posts it for the world to see or someone sitting in front of a computer screen all day, posting how bad they think it is?)
I’m not saying everyone needs to run around and start posting positive things all the time. You don’t have to be the one and only Smiling Internet Guru of Positivity.
Just know, you don’t have to post ANYTHING either.
There’s no law that says people are interested in everything you say.
I’ve looked. Trust me.
It’s very easy to see something, not like it and just keep on walking by.
Be it art, a photo or video. If it’s something positive someone has created, why tear it down?
It doesn’t work towards making you a better person or even making you feel better.
I know. I’ve been there too. Don’t fool yourself. People won’t think your cooler or smarter by “going against the grain” and being that one person who “bravely” says how something personal from you, isn’t good.
People hate that guy. They really do.
In this day of terrible role models who feel its ok to “grab women” or make fun of disabled people, we need to fight harder and more fiercely against these feelings and these types of people.
I’ve seen people made fun of for “white knighting” others.
WHEN DID THIS BECOME A BAD THING?
We can’t be drug down into their level of “club them and drag them by the hair” mentality.
If you see something, say something.
Fight the good fight.
#socialskillsmatter