Getting Chastised For Caring

0523-machester-flag-mark-e-tisdale-14Earlier this week, a coward chose a concert filled with teenagers to enact his political/religious views by planting a bomb and killing 19 people.
Children who simply went to a place to have fun.
It shouldn’t matter where it happened. It shouldn’t matter the country, the city or even street. It was a heinous act that took the lives of children.
There have been many evil acts like this throughout the centuries, but this particular act hit me harder than most, mainly because the children targeted were about the same age as my children.
I can feel bad for adults who have been killed, but I can’t be in their shoes as much as I can being a parent and seeing a loss.
So as a small act ( and I mean, literally, the least thing I could do) I posted a photo of the Manchester flag and simply stated “No parent should ever have to bury their child”.
Well, no good deed goes unpunished apparently because no sooner than I posted it, I was told how bad that was to do.
“Awful.You are only sensitive to European explosions.How sensitive are you to the explosions in the Middle East?More than 300 people died in an explosion in Turkey.You are not sensitive to this, but you are sensitive to European explosions. Whatever happens #manchester :((“
Now, I’ll be the first to admit it. I don’t like it when people post signs of solidarity, mainly for the attention from facebook or as a status thing, and I’ll also admit, at times, I’ve done the same thing.
“Hey, everyone. I feel bad also. Look at me feel bad”
I’ve been witness to people saying they’d do anything to help a charity, but when I bend over backwards to get them to come down to our event, suddenly everything under the sun stops them.
Or they “simply forgot”.
That’s fine. We each walk our own path and have to live with our decisions, but I have never attacked someone for caring.
I’ve rolled my eyes at certain people who I know will say something to show everyone on their social media page that they care, but that’s pretty much where it ends. I’m not them and I don’t know what they’re going through.
But to tell someone they are awful for caring? At a moment when I felt emotional hit by something I could relate to?
In a world where people can anonymously bully, critique, say awful things and basically just be a dick to people anywhere at anytime, telling someone they aren’t caring enough about everything is almost as bad as the act itself.
What you’re doing is telling that person that you think they are not only caring wrong, but simply showing ignorance of the world around them and if it happens again, they’ll just look foolish.
Here’s the deal. There’s a small arrow that faces down on your laptop. Maybe the next time you see someone posting something you don’t agree with, just push that little button and go right on by. If your first instinct is “I’ll teach them!”, ask yourself, is it worth it?
Is arguing on the internet how you really want to spend the precious minutes you have on this Earth? Is posting hateful or mean statements to someone you’ve never met really how you want to be known? What if they were your last words? What if a comet hit your desk and you died and those mean, spiteful words, were the last ones you posted? What if that other person was going through something and you didn’t know? What if their anger on the internet was just an outlet because a loved one died or a relationship ended? Are you helping or hurting? Are you a fast lane to human progress or a speed bump?
I’m not a wordsmith by any means, but I hope if anything, people get out of this rambling is, I think we’re done. I think we’ve reached maximum hate on the internet. We did it! GOOD JOB! Now that that goal was reached, how about we back off a little and start on the other side. Let’s start trying to understand each other a little more or at the very least, instead of telling people how wrong they are, work on yourself and let them walk their own path. You’re not a teacher. You’re not a guru. You’re just another human being. telling someone who posted something wrong, by telling them they’re wrong.
Below was my response. It’s probably not perfect, but I wrote it, so I should stand by it.
Well I guess I should address this since you seem to be pretty mad at a person you’ve never met, so simply put, I posted a photo of a country’s flag that just had a bomb go off and kill some kids. I’m sensitive to ALL killings of innocent people. Every single one. No innocent person deserves to die for someone else’s political stance. But since you know me so well, you’ll know I’m also a parent, and AS a parent, this bombing hit me harder than others, because it involved kids that are my own kids age. I can sympathize with the grieving parents. That doesn’t mean this is the only killing I care about just because I posted a photo during a time where I was emotionally hit by something going on. Should I post a photo of a countries flag after Every innocent person somewhere in the world is killed? That would be a pretty sad Instagram considering it happens every day, all over the world. And am I to blame about not knowing about Turkey? I work 40 hours a week at one job and more on another one. I have 3 kids and bills to pay. I can’t watch the news 24 hours a day in the “hopes” I catch all the killings from around the world, to make sure I memorialize every single one. I understand your anger, but honestly, to attack someone you’ve never met who simply posted something at a time where they were in distress about kids being killed, seems awfully mean. I hope one day no one EVER has to post ” thoughts and prayers” or post that they’re sorry because innocent people were killed, but sadly, I don’t see that day coming any sooner. If I were you, instead of attacking people who feel bad about something, generously explain about another situation and maybe ways to help. Spread good in the world. Hate is to quick. It’s too easy to criticize. We need more people who can help, not hinder the world into a new era of kindness. I hope you understand everything I blathered on about. I’m used to making people laugh, not understand, so forgive me. And if you knew people in Turkey that were hurt or killed, I’m sorry for them as well. I hope one day we meet so we fully understand where each person is coming from. That’s the only way this world will know peace.


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